Questions, Questions
by LunaPadma
Summary: Max and the flock are on a TV show! Who will win the game show? Will Max kill the fanfiction writer?
1. Max

Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum ride or some of these questions. I might not own the TV show, either.

Announcer: Welcome to Questions, Questions!

Angel: Max, I'm bored

Nudge: WE'RE ON TV!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: Here are the three choice-masters!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!

Announcer: The Army Guy!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!

Announcer: Maximum Ride!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!

Announcer: And A Fanfiction Writer!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!

Announcer: And now the five answer-masters!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!

Announcer: Fang!

Random Fan: You're even sexier in real life!

Max: Say that again and I will rip your throat out.

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!

Announcer; Angel!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!

FW (fanfiction writer): Can the crowd, like, shut up?

Crowd: BOOO!!!!

Announcer: Gasman!

Announcer: Nudge!

Announcer: And Iggy!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!

Announcer: This is how it works. I will ask a question, and our three choice masters will each come up with a choice for our answer-masters to pick. The answer-masters each pick an answer, and the choice-master whose answer was picked the most gets a point. The choice-master with the most points gets our special prize.

Crowd: Ooooh...

Announcer: First question:

You're presented with a smooth-faced, eight-foot-high wooden wall. Your objective? Get over it. How to accomplish this?

AG (army guy): Take a running start, brace one foot against the wall, throw one hand over the top, and try to hang on long enough for a comrade to pull you over or push you over.

Max: Or you could just, like, fly over it.

FW: Either walk around the wall or burn a hole through the wall.

Fang: B

Angel: B

Nudge: C

Iggy: C. Duh. I bet I could blow up the wall, too.

Gazzy: C. Right on, dude

-Iggy and Gazzy high-five-

Announcer: A point to FW

Max: I thought we were a team!

Nudge: I don't want to scuff my new shoes

Iggy and Gazzy: Pyro time!!!

Announcer: Twenty yards of dirt to crawl across on your belly. The catch? Rows and rows of barbed wire, strung eighteen inches off the ground. How do you get across without being snagged?

AG: Sniper Crawl

Max: We flock peeps can do that with style. Y'all know how to crawl!

FW: Or you could just, like, fly over it.

Fang: B

Angel: C

Gazzy: C

Nudge: C

Iggy: C

Announcer: Two points for FW

Max: ARRGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: You are stranded with no food. What will you eat?

AG: Search for edible plants

Max: Roast rat, anyone?

FW: Fly to civilization, borrow a cell phone, and call Dominoes. When they deliver after the thirty minute thing, free pizza!

Fang: C

Angel: C

Gazzy: C

Nudge: C

Iggy: C

Announcer: Three points for FW

Max: I'm not speaking to you.

Iggy: Pizza versus rat. Not difficult

Max: What if the pizza comes before thirty minutes?

FW: Steal the pizza.

Max: I don't like you

FW: The feeling's mutual

Announcer: What is Iggy's foremost talent?

AG: Making Bombs

Max: Blowing stuff up

FW: Being sexy

Fang: B

Angel: A

Crowd: Wha....

Angel: Gazzy blows stuff up. Iggy makes bombs.

Gazzy: B

Iggy: C

Nudge:-Turns bright red-C

FW: You guys are a couple! I can't wait to break this on my profile!!

Iggy: What?

FW: Does Eggy exist?

Iggy: What?

FW: Ella plus Iggy

Iggy: -turns bright red-

FW: They both exist?!? Yahoo!! I told them, but did they listen? No...

Announcer: One point for Max and one point for FW! Next question. You are trapped in the School. How do you escape? Iggy and Gazzy have no bombs, and you have no devices to get away

AG: Climb through the air duct

Max: Break through a window

FW: Bribe the guards with money found in lab coat pockets

Fang: C

Angel: C

Iggy: C  
Gazzy: You skipped me!

Nudge: C

Gazzy: And again! C

Announcer: Another point for FW

Max:-Glares-

FW: Don't hate me because I'm smart, pretty, and talented!

Announcer: FW gets the prize of this incredibly high-tech laptop!

FW: I can write fanfiction everywhere!

Fang: That's my laptop!

Announcer: THE END!!!!!


	2. Fang

**To answer everyone's questions I did get the first few questions from the book because I was unhappy with certain answers (the crawling one), so I wrote my answers in a fanfiction!!!**

**I am not James Patterson. I doubt his screen name would be LunaPadma.**

Announcer: We're back with Questions, Questions!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!!!!

FW: Shut up!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: Fang will face off with FW. You both know how it works. I will ask a question, and our three choice masters will each come up with a choice for our answer-masters to pick. The answer-masters each pick an answer, and the choice-master whose answer was picked the most gets a point. The choice-master with the most points gets our special prize.

Crowd: Ooooh...

FW: And I repeat for dramatic effect. Shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crowd: -Glares-

Announcer: Our choice-masters! Max! Iggy! Nudge! Gasman! And ANGEL!!!!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Fan: Go Fang! You're Sexy!!!!

Max:-Tries to kill fan. Is stopped by bulletproof glass-Who put that there!

FW: Me. I AM a fanfiction writer. My words shape your life. When I post them.

Max: You just posted a story about me running into bulletproof glass?

FW: Slapstick comedy. Very popular.

Announcer: First question! What is Max searching for?

Fang: A way to save the earth

FW: The perfect chocolate chip cookie

Max: As much as I hate to say it...B.

Angel; How do you know what Max's secret desire is?

FW: Max's secret desire is to marry Fang.

Max: "Marry" is a strong word!

FW: I make a life study of the flock.

Angel: B...

Gasman: B

Iggy: B. She is obsessed with those chocolate chip cookies!

Nudge: B

Fang: Stalker!

FW: Please!!! I am SO more obsessed with Twilight!

Fang: Twilight?

FW: Yes!!! Go Team Edward! Even though my love is a werewolf!! Because Edward and Bella were made for each other! Kind of like Max and Fang!

Max and Fang: What?

Announcer: FW gets a point! Next question: When did you see Max and Fang getting together?

Fang: After Max had her chip removed.

FW: Wow! I saw it when she kissed you after you served as Ari's scratching post!

Fang: Excuse me?

Max: A

Angel: B

Gasman: B! Maybe earlier.

FW: They're so obvious!

Gasman: I know!

Max: How did you know back then?

Gasman: I'm a perceptive 8-year-old.

Iggy: B

Nudge: B. Heck, I knew it earlier!

Announcer: Another point for FW! Next question: What is Angel's creepiest power?

Fang: The fact that she can mind-read

FW: The fact that she's six, and can do all that. Six!!!

Max: B

Angel: B

Gasman: B

Iggy: B

Nudge: B.

Announcer: A third point for FW!! A substitute announcer will now come in.

Everyone: TOTAL????!!!!!!

Total: And Akila!

FW: What a plot twist! Even I didn't see that coming! And I am the queen of the plot twists!

Fang: You are?

FW: Duh. My screen name is ThePlotTwistMastah.** (I just made that screen name up)**

Total: Max just got shot. Who will catch her?

Fang: Me!!!!!!!!!! Me! Me! Me! Me! ME!!!!!!!!!!

FW: You say you know her. She'd land and start beating up the idiots who did it.

Max: B

Angel: A

Gasman: B

Iggy: B

Nudge: B

Akila: Bark bark bark arf arf bark.

Fang: Another point for FW!

Everyone: What?

FW: Fang understands dogs?? Someone is stealing my plot twist crown!!! Can you talk to dogs?

Fang: Yeah.

FW: DARN THIS STUPID FANFICTION WRITER!!!!!

Iggy: How do you know it's a fanfiction writer?

FW: It always is. –searching on her (or Fang's) laptop-It is a fanfiction!! Ooooh...newbie, I am so gonna flame you...

Nudge: Who is it?

FW: Some kid named LunaPadma. Usually writes one-shots, mostly Harry Potter, has a ten-chapter Twilight fic going on, and seems to be two people.

Iggy: Weird...

FW: She blocked me?!? ME????? I hate this stupid fanfiction writer!!!

Total: Next question: Where is the best place for Akila and my wedding?

Fang: Uhh...the beach?

FW: Sunset, the waves crashing in the background, private beach, Maui, luau theme. Did I miss anything?

Max: B

Angel: B

Gasman: B

Iggy: B

Nudge: B

Akila: Bark bark bark arf arf bark.

Fang: Same thing as last time.

Total: FW wins! And she gets this excellent charger for her laptop!

Fang: Are all these prizes gonna be my stuff?

LunaPadma: No. Some will be Iggy's. Possibly some of the Gasman's stuff too. Maybe even a batch of Dr. Martinez's chocolate chip cookies.

Everyone: Who are you?

LunaPadma: LunaPadma.

FW: I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LunaPadma: I control you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: Tune in next time, when FW takes on Iggy!!!

Crowd: Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Iggy!

I do not own it. Period. End of story.

Announcer: Welcome back!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!

FW: Let it be known that the only reason I am back on this show is because I was bribed by the prospect of winning Gasman's Transformers cars.

Gazzy: What how'd you get those? Iggy, you'd better win.

Announcer: Ella

Flock: WHAT?

Ella: A couple prizes for a date with Iggy. What's the big deal?

Announcer: Ella will be today's announcer.

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ella: Right on!!! This is how it works:

FW: We know how to play!

Ella: I'm just reading the index card! I will ask a question, and our three choice masters will each come up with a choice for our answer-masters to pick. The answer-masters each pick an answer, and the choice-master whose answer was picked the most gets a point. The choice-master with the most points gets our special prize.

Crowd: Ooooh...

FW: Is the crowd computerized? Like, you know the sounds?

Crowd: No!-random people shout random words to that effect-

FW: Whatever.

Ella: The choice-masters are Iggy and FW!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!!!!

Ella: Your answer-masters are Max! Fang!

Random Fan: Sexy!!!!

Max:-runs toward fan-

FW: The bulletproof glass is still there.

Max:-skids to a stop, inches from the glass-You're mean.

FW: You want to get sued?

Max: No

FW: Then you should thank me.

Ella: Nudge! The Gasman! And ANGEL!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ella: First question: Max describes Angel as having six parts. What are those parts?

Iggy: Ummm...one part creepy mind reader, one part creepy mind controller, two parts fish, one part bird, and one part human?

FW: Two parts cute blonde cherub, two parts evil demon, and two pars indescribable but even scarier.

Angel: A. Max would never say B

Max:-whispers-B

Angel: WHAT?????????-eyes turn red and hair bursts into flame-YOU LIE!!!!!!!!

FW: Calm down and I'll give you a...TEDDY BEAR!-pulls out teddy bear-

Angel:-calms down, eyes turn back to blue, and hair turns blonde-Ooooh. Pretty! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

FW: -gives her teddy bear-Well, she is a shape-shifter.

Fang:-hands sheet of paper to Ella-

Nudge:-hands sheet of paper to Ella-

Gasman: -hands sheet of paper to Ella-

Ella: They all voted B because they heard Max say it softly and they themselves would never say that about you. That's a point for FW.

FW: I knew there was a reason those cue cards magically appeared.

Jeb: Could it be the fact that you just published a story involving cue cards so that-is suddenly cut off by a hand appearing over his mouth-

Omega:-pulls off ninja mask-I have come to your aid my princess!

FW: The person you're looking for is ThePlotTwistOwnah.** (Just made that up)** She's on soundstage five with the Harry Potter characters playing Family Feud. **(Own neither of those, and I did not steal the Harry Potter family feud idea) **

Omega: Oh. It's the mastah/ownah thing. Sorry!

FW: Happens all the time. No problem. BTW, can you tell her that she needs to change her screen name, because I had mine first?

Omega: Whatever...-walks off set-

-5 seconds later-

ThePlotTwistOwnah: I hate you!!! Thanks to you, Harry Potter answered the last question right, and now I have a ton of angry Death Eaters after me!! Voldemort wants to make me his eighth horcrux!! I'm not horcrux material!!!

FW: Sorry! I can have them distracted in three seconds, and rewrite the ending on that fanfic, if you want.

ThePlotTwistOwnah: You have a laptop? Scoot over!

-the two fanfiction authoresses work on stories side by side for a minute-

FW and ThePlotTwistOwnah: Done!

FW: See ya! Read my stories!

ThePlotTwistOwnah: You read mine too!

Ella: Um...next question: You are stranded on a desert island with gunpowder and a match. How to escape?

Iggy: Make bombs!!!-laughs manically-

FW: Fly away.

Ella: No duh. FW gets the point. Iggy, try to concentrate. I want to go on a nice date, without the boy being insane. OKAY????????

Iggy: Ma'am yes Ma'am!

Ella: Good private!

FW: This ain't boot camp

Ella: SHUT UP! You will speak when spoken to, maggot!

FW: My butt.

Ella: What?

FW: Get on with the show.

Ella: Fine. What is Max thinking right now?

Iggy: I'm in love with Fang

FW: I hate Dr. Amazing, the red-haired wonder, that stupid random fan, and anyone who is in love with Fang excluding myself. And anyone Fang is in love with excluding myself.

Angel: She's thinking B

Max: Angel?

Angel: It's true!

Max: B...

Fang: Really?

Max: Yep.

Fang: I was just using them to get you jealous!

Max: Really?

Angel: No

Fang: Angel!

Ella: FW gets the point because Angel saw what Max is thinking

Iggy:-glares at Angel-

Angel:-smiles sweetly-

Ella: FW WINS!!!! AGAIN!!!! Iggy, pick me up at seven. Wear the tux that Nudge just got you, and I want to be picked up in a white electric limo! DID YOU GET THAT PRIVATE!

Iggy: Ma'am yes ma'am!

FW: Can I have my Transformer cars now?

Gasman: No! They're my cars! Mine!

FW: Too bad, loser!!

Gasman:-starts crying-

Ella: And tune in next time for FW to take on Nudge!!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!!!


	4. Nudge

Announcer: And we're back with Questions, Questions!!!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

FW: Ignore them, ignore them, ignore them.

Announcer: Here are your choice-masters!!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: FW and NUDGE!!!!!!!!!

Crowd: GO NUDGE!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: Here are your answer-masters!!!!!!!!!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: MAX! FANG!

Random fan: Date me, sexy!!!!!

Announcer: There will be no fan-killing here.

Max: Just a little bit?

Announcer: No.

Max: Please, pretty please?

Announcer: No. IGGY! GASMAN! AND ANGEL!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: You know the rules: I will ask a question, and our three choice masters will each come up with a choice for our answer-masters to pick. The answer-masters each pick an answer, and the choice-master whose answer was picked the most gets a point. The choice-master with the most points gets our special prize.

Crowd: Ooooh...

Announcer: First question: What gift would you get for the flock?

Nudge: Well, I'd get, like, a new laptop for Fang, and, like, a stuffed animal for, like, Angel. Iggy would, like, get a lock-picking, like, kit, Gazzy, like, would, like, totally, receive a chemistry set, I'd, like, get clothes, and, like, Max would get, like, a date with Fang.

FW: Duct tape.

Nudge: Why, like, would you, like, get, like, the flock the same, like, present?

FW: Fang would get black, Angel would get bright pink, you'd get bright pink, Max and Gazzy would get original, and Iggy would get something bright.

Max: B

Nudge: Like, why?

Max: Then you could shut up!

Fang: I'd have to agree with Max on this one.

Nudge: But, like, I gave you two a date!

Fang: We can arrange one ourselves.

Nudge:-starts crying-

Gazzy: B! I love duct tape!

Iggy: I want bright colored duct tape!!!

Angel: They sell pink duct tape? That is in fact a B.

Announcer: FW gets a point! Next question: What is Fang obsessed with?

FW: Max

Nudge: His blog

Max: B

Fang: A

Iggy: A

Gazzy: A

Angel: A

Announcer: Another point to FW!!

Crowd: Boo!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: For these next questions, Dr. Brigid Dwyer must take over.

Brigid: It's an honor to be here. First (kind of) question: If you get lost in Antarctica, what do you do?

Nudge: Fly up until see the station, then fly there.

FW: Fly to Hawaii.

Nudge: Why would you fly to Hawaii?

FW: it's warm, pretty, and they have Virgin Piña Coladas.

Max: True. B

Fang: B

Gazzy: B!!!!!!!

Iggy: B. I hate cold.

Angel: B!

Brigid: FW gets a point! If you fall into a hole in Antarctica, how do you get out?

Nudge: Fly out.

FW: Fly to Barbados.

Max: B

Fang: B

Gazzy: B!!!!!!!

Iggy: B.

Angel: B!

Brigid: Next question-That's a point for FW-What to do when confronted by a leopard seal?

Nudge: Fly away.

FW: Fly to Cabo.

Max: B

Fang: B

Gazzy: B!!!!!!!

Iggy: B.

Angel: B!

Brigid: FW gets another point. If caught in a blizzard, what do you do?

Nudge: Hunker down.

FW: Talk to a fanfiction writer to write something about you in the Bahamas.

Max: B

Fang: B

Gazzy: B!!!!!!!

Iggy: B.

Angel: B!

Brigid: FW wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she gets this cool lock picking kit!

Iggy: Ella...

Ella: That was Total!

Iggy: Total...

Total: Leaving!


End file.
